Time to go - but not too far away

It has come time to close this blog down.

I will leave it up for just a day or two longer.

Everyone who asked for invites to the new blog should have them by now.  

It will be public though - and has been renamed.

You can find it at www.beautyamongsttheweeds.blogspot.com

Bear with me whilst I continue to tweak the new blog a little.

Bless this blog and all who sailed in her.

Today

Was horrendous.

Exhausting.

More lies.  You'd think I might have learnt by now.

You see I was not a great lawyer  but I was completely dogged at research.

And in my inability to let this all go I found out more. 

I know enough now.

Still....cannot....let go .... of 20 years. He has been my best friend that long.  

Best friends don't do that to each other though.

Blossom - thank you for the beautiful quilt.

Seed - please know that you will get your photo soon.

Joke - truly I am OK.  Or will be.

Elizabeth - thank you for the music.

Duyvken - I still get tears in my eyes thinking of you returning after you had left - bearing that chicken and the potato bake.

Eleanor - my joy bird...my friend.

Kim - your jam!  Because god almighty I am so not losing weight!

Shula's absolute understanding of my confusion.

Suse's gentleness.

The emails, the texts, the phone calls from all of you  and  the friends in real life who have stood by me.

My mother.

My children.

Blessed in so many ways I am.

joy will return - it will return

it will seep through the crack'd arteries of my heart

it will blaze in my eyes.

it will shine in my face.

it will be reflected in the faces of my children.

it

will

be 

mine.

Just bereft right now.

Still here

After some very intense grieving last week my mother decided to fly up from Adelaide.

The bliss of having her here.

Thank you for the emails, the texts, the beautiful visit I had with Duyvken, Kim and Eleanor.

I am awash with sadness and tiredness.

Having said that - I am far more resilient than I would ever have dreamed.

Thank the universe for that.

And I am contemplating my new blog (which will be public for all those lovely people I still owe invitations to- I will make sure you receive one).  I have re read this blog and it contains too many coincidental dates and times and memories for it to be something I want to keep.  The other blog will be closed too - it has served its purpose in allowing me a place to vent and to absorb the wealth of support I received in the first weeks of anger and pain.  However initially - and for obvious reasons - I will keep the new blog private and then open it up and let it take its own way into this world.

It will continue to carry my photos.

You know what - fuck it - choose joy!

Updated

I am considering closing down this blog altogether and starting a new public blog elsewhere.

You'll see why at the other place.

Updated

Warning - I'm grumpy!

Updated

Chickens laying eggs in their new home

Also 

I have received many emails and in my current fog I would really appreciate it if you haven't received an invitation to the new hen house that you leave a comment here so I can send an invite. 

I apologise if you haven't yet received an invitation if you have already asked for one- it is not deliberate believe me.

I am reading blogs - and thank everyone again for their support.